It's MY story, and it's nothing like yours.

it's 12.22pm now.
it's the last day of 2005.
another year's ending.
just like that.
this has been a hectic year.
first and foremost, adapting to life at poly... major changes. late nights. endless stream of projects. long semstral holiday of 6 weeks.
new commitments made (SPU,upcoming piano concert which took us a near full year to prepare). lousy time management as usual.
new friends made =) 'old' friends kept.
promises made, kept and broken.
confessions of different sorts. rejection.
tutors.
the year in which i've watched the most number of movies. year in which, for the first time, i consulted her on relationships. first gig. 'uniform-free' for the first time. longest bus journey to school yet. arguably, the most sms-es i've sent in a year i reckon. with SPU and piano peeps contacting through sms.
guilt. understanding. first late night at Mac's for a proj. CCA-less, for now. picking up Jap.
newspapers. (only BY and company will know ;> ) furthest place where proj mate stays-Jurong. laughter. tears. loneliness. company.
feelings of obligation, and of dread.
first impromptu speech for OCOM. first slap for someone in a skit. (a real one)
being sandwiched in between too many times.
a failed business. a new car.
not too hyped birthday. (in fact, VERY lonely). yet, a snuggly warm feeling to know ppl remembered. :)
first taste of kimchi. (not too tasty. haha)
sushi at sch (yummy!)
cold cold cold library (with curly hair librarian) giggles and jokes at lib.
piano 'meetings'...much dreaded rehearsals. the feeling of being 'the weakest link' after each rehearsal. jittery and 'soft' keys that felt weird to the touch. laughing fits. stress.
finance and finance.



so much.




too tired.




will add when not too tired to do so....


goodnight. :)

1245pm

posted by yz @ 12:22 AM 0 Comments

townin'

townin with sher, lain and stephie today. went out all hyped to do some decent shopping for new year clothes. came home empty-handed.

sherlin had her eyes FIXED on this particular skirt, and dismissed thoughts of buying any other clothes, to save money for that skirt!!! ugh. i tot we were supposed to shop together?! ya. so it came to a point where it looked like i had 3 guards around while i shopped or sth. real awkward la!!!! refused to buy anything. don't know if it fits. don't wanna try. admittedly a wierdo k? haha. sorry i wasted all your time. sorry sorry sorry.

far east. isetan. wisma. bugis st. bugis junction. and not even a top.
someone hand me an award for that 'achievement' can?
*shakes head in dismay*
haha...
ya. so as expected, my aunty stared at my empty hands and went, "you went out for a whole day and didn't buy anything ah?"
"ya, didn't know what to buy..."

so it was kind of a day wasted. and the girls' legs died. well, maybe except for mine. my legs are stronger i guess. heh =x

my apologies to shu juan and company. my stupid connection failed. and they've finished discussion when i managed to come on. that feeling of guilt is accumulating. shucks!

1046pm

posted by yz @ 10:34 PM 0 Comments

this fool won't stop thinking. don't want to. never will.

lunched at far east today. my saba set took forever to come, and grandma and mum had to watch me eat.
celebrated birthday cum christmas @ punggol. pizza...log cake...chicken and agar-agar... feeling so bloated and full i can't sleep. exchanged presents. received bday presents. "thank you"
pity Jon wasn't there. he haven't turned up for a single party we'd had all this while. apparently sick, hope he's well.

a new year is coming. hang in there everyone!

1218am

posted by yz @ 12:08 AM 0 Comments

last show for 2005

we had a gig yesterday at Istana Park. more relaxed than Fri's concert, definitely. enjoyed it. somewhat like a repeat of the concert's repertoire, except that some pieces were omitted... less mistakes too.
cut short due to an over-run, but what the hey, samba was definitely more engaging yesterday!=)
wore a bandana for the first time. pity Bao Zhen who collected the bandanas after the show, cuz we were all perspiring and all when playing. it must have been stinky! =x
for the first time too, i saw him 'diao' one of us. i mean, i've heard how he 'diao-ed' people before but never seen him really doing it. until yesterday....
still he was in a relatively better mood last night.
got my flowers back from Steph. left it with her and forgot to get it back the previous night. haha.
so ya. the gig's our last performance for the year. more to come!
independent percussion group, or is it called another way. sounds good nonetheless. 30 odd shows since the start of the group in April. what a record! =DD

merry xmas one and all!

130pm

posted by yz @ 1:09 PM 0 Comments

mixed feelings

After 1 week plus of intensive practices, SPU and 2-Four had their first concert last night.
Reported early in the morning. Met Jeremy at the bus-stop and took a lift from Damien to the studio. Set off in groups of 3s to YMS in taxis. Damien and company were slowest though they were the first to left. Hadn't the slighest idea what he was trying to do parking in and out. Rehearsals. Set-up was screwed. Not all instruments were where they should have been. Chaotic. Messy.
First piece that used the synthesizer as the bass was also in the wrong octave. Stopped. Demanded that all those using synthesizer check out how it really works. I thought that was not really helpful since different pieces used different octaves. Played an octave too high. Got stared at. So played lower.
To tell him that "there aren't enough sticks" is to seek death during times like this. Stopped a while again. Rehearsal continued. Made a note on paper to play the correct octave during the actual thing.
Played [Silent Night] and the lights were weird. Laughed, for the first time during rehearsal, the way I looked at it.
Changed to attire for concert. Watched the 'Golden Girls of Katong' rehearse. Dinner. Stood and eat. Cleared everything in the audience's seats.
relaxed and preparing. people coming in. talked to family. wait for friends and stuff.
heart thumping madly. show starts.
[windstone suite] was one mad song. rhthym went a lil' off here and there. but still managed to piece it back together.
[new york] was okie. managed to get it. finally.
[overture] didn't play for it. so went offstage.
and wait....and wait....
[bayport] started twice cuz his conducting wasn't clear. saw that pissed-off look. heart thumped more wildly. luckily the piece was ok. at least for me.
[ethnic] was quite cool. heard the composer was there too. so a bit stressed. but it was one of the pieces that I enjoyed playing last night. combined piece. some 20 odd people on stage.
waited again for combo band to finish their 3 pieces. nonyas did impromptu performance, he told us in the car on our way back to the studio. kudos to them!
[brazilian] this piece totally rocks, all the time with samba. except, something not so nice always happens when i play this piece. the last time i played it 2 years ago at the camp, my sticks dropped after i threw it too far away from the stand and missed it. last night, i totally screwed my part playing on the supposedly correct octave which was wrong~ got a stare and a scolding which the audience was oblivious too (cuz the conductor's back was facing them) but obvious to one and all playing around me. totally disappointed and upset.
haven't seen carol and chinghoon for a while and the first time we met each other after such a long while, we had to meet, not so happily.....

anyway, that was what happened. and there's a show later at night. i hope it'll be better.
157pm

posted by yz @ 1:26 PM 0 Comments

posted by yz @ 10:43 PM 0 Comments

posted by yz @ 10:43 PM 0 Comments

back from SPU. did Ethnic today. our first combined piece with 2-4. the best so far, according to D...but all the skippings and coda and repeats are making me confused. oh wells...
made a new friend in Aishya, or isit Aisha ( how to spell her name?! ) she's a very outgoing person..and definitely humorous. learnt a new language from her. alright. a description to be specific (very Starhub) - her way of telling people who aren't can't think, register fast. I'm not trying to hint anything here. so please don't sue me or sth. this is really creepy. not everything i blog i have to think it through first, lest i get letters or sth...

the WCOM project is finally off our hands. she better give us decent grades...if not...if not...nahz. i also can't do anything to her what. haha... just don't give us like super bad grades or sth can le... yup. so that's a load off.

now, it's full charge forward for Strike It Up! Please do come and support! i mean, all the hours we're putting in...
so, be nice and come and support k?! haha...

that's all. I'm really tired.

1214am - 201205

posted by yz @ 12:00 AM 0 Comments

Had dim sum in the morning with my family at J8 before proceeding to JE mrt station where Stephie picked me up. Sher took the bus from the wrong side or something and was late = makes one wonders if she really stays at Jurong as well...
the whole MRT trip from Bishan to JE was boring and lonely. I couldn't even whip out my MP3 for company coz I still haven't got the batteries for it.
Anyway, so we rushed through our WCOM proj, the 3 of us, collating the necessary statistics and stuff....mind-boggling, and I just stoned from staring at Stephie's laptop screen for too long a period of time.
We got restless after a while, and as usual, we started babbling nonsensical stuff and cracking lame jokes. Poor Sherlin said her butt hurts from sitting on the hard stool for the whole time. Haha...
Stephie? With her luaggage all packed, she hurried through her dinner and was still working on the project up till the time before her family left for the airport.
Now, she'll be able to enjoy her trip with no worries! =D

posted by yz @ 8:38 AM 0 Comments

no longer NC-17

Just been promoted from NC-17 to M18. This 17th on the 17th is less-hyped. I'm feeling all tired and switched off, having come home from a 4-hr practice, and at the prospect of having to rush through a project due on Monday. IT'S MONDAY...FRIGGING MONDAY. Am slightly irritated, coz' I'm really trying to keep my temper in check.
On another note, i SHOULD be happy coz' people remembered that it's my birthday today. Haha...
Ok. No. it's not i SHOULD. i mean...i'm really glad you people remembered. though we don't interact/ talk often... you know~
ya. so I'm really touched =D

thank you all. thank you.

2107pm

posted by yz @ 8:57 PM 0 Comments

Did I mention that I nearly missed my stop the previous day? Dozed off, and thought that there it'd be a while before the bus actually pulls into the stop. Cuz there's this traffic light before the stop that always turns red when I'm about to alight. On that day, however, it remained green. So I hurriedly pressed the bell and alighted. I think some other passengers on the bus were staring at me. Embarrassing!

The Fundamentals of Financial Accounting (FFA) paper was, as Mrs Chiu put it, not that easy, nor that difficult. It's probably set that way to restrict the number of distinctions the cohort would be getting. Got to admit that I wasn't well-prepared for it. Still~~~ fingers crossed.

Come tomorrow, we'd be sitting for the much dreaded BCA. I reckon SJ will breeze through it, seeing how she's way ahead the rest of us with revision. Her interest in Excel helps, I think. Haha. Me? I have not even started reading the first page of the textbook. -_-
And here I am blogging. Seriously, I need a good waking up. This internet addiciton is getting me nowhere.

Can't help being in the festive mood, with all the lights-up in Orchard, the Christmas carols (or isit spelled as 'caroles') you hear along the streets.... please pity us poly students who are still slogging away at school! haha...this feeling of self-pity is slowly filling me up. SHUCKS.
ya, ok, maybe poly students aren't really STUDENTS in a way. STUDENTS wear uniforms, and we don't! BUT AGAIN, if we aren't students, what are we?! haha...
What a stupid rhetorical question. I shan't go on, lest I continue degrading myself to a COMPLETE IDIOT.

1053am

posted by yz @ 10:35 AM 0 Comments

uh...
no ruddy comments about that presentation. just, why didn't she shoot me anything?!
it's really weird.

i just realised...people like to play the disappearing act. i shan't elaborate. except that......maybe it's just me.
i wish i could be a little less sensitive, a little less can't-be-bothered, do a bit less thinking (at times, certainly not during my papers!), a bit less dreamy. whatever it is, anything to take my mind off it.

i don't want to, but i still.
i just feel stupid, can?

please don't start asking me about what it is all about.
i'm already disorientated as it is.
and suddenly, i feel as if i'm just holding back everyone.
i'm really sorry. stephie and peeps.
it's unintentional. =x
and thanks steph, for taking up the combo part. i wouldn't want to impede progress of yet another group of ppl. =s

-648pm-

posted by yz @ 6:41 PM 0 Comments

i'd wanted to go watch the gig, too bad the master class was prolonged by another 2 hours, which isn't all that bad too.
but at the end of it all, i got so stoned and tired, my mind had lost all functions of processing and thinking. too tired to even say anything. when it came to my turn, i was half switched off already. and i needed so much prompting for an answer that, in the end, didn't come out from my mouth too.....
frankly, every meeting and rehearsal i go to never fails to show how much room there is for improvement. DETAILS DETAILS DETAILS. so much to work on! why is it always that i do better during lesson time at AMK just before the actual rehearsal? and then i just go all wobbly and weird during rehearsal.
once at inspiration, it was the laughing fit that just wouldn't stop. and today, i just felt that the keys were "soft". i couldn't make out the forte from the piano, let alone all the staccatos etc. irritated and disappointed.
and why do i accelerate like a car with no brakes when i get nervous? when will i ever learn to calm those nerves?! infuriating!
it's barely 3 months to the concert.... =s shucks.

posted by yz @ 9:52 PM 0 Comments

SPU in the morning. did windstone suite. taxing piece with time signatures that change after almost every bar. the quavers were tough. (5-8ths,6-8ths,7-8ths,3-4s...) i had a headache after the rehearsal, suspected that i did too much counting... haha. thoroughly embarrassed when i faltered at this particular movement. and can someone tell me how to do the glissando properly?!
ugh.
and it's to be the opening piece!!! gosh.
despite of all that happened, i'm glad to have this outlet for a breather from the academics. it's only times like this when i can just forget about the pile of work waiting at home and concentrate, instead, on getting those notes and rhythms right.
saw Alex for the first time in the past 2 years, and i must say she's matured by quite a fair bit. so far, the youngest i've known to arrange music for a percussion ensemble. solid stuff. minus the coloured hair, make up, and loss in weight (not that she was obese to start with), she's still much like the same Alex i knew.
poor manshan came all the way from i dunno where and went home barely an hour later, for some decent sleep after suffering from jet-lag. i wonder why she turned up in the first place though she didn't have any parts for that piece. haha...still as blur.
alrights. shan't continue cuz i've really got to tend to that pile now.
shucks.
it's 8.44pm now. not whatever is stated below.

posted by yz @ 8:31 PM 0 Comments

finally, some time to blog.
was getting a bit tired of blogging. tempted to delete it once and for all. but then again, being the sentimental freak i am, it'd be a waste if i wiped out everything here with just a click.
oh well...
now, i'm wearing this frameless specs which is making me a teeny-bit dizzy, so i shall just blog as much as i can before i pass out. haha... where's the other pair?! [sulk]
today's lectures saw a big turnout of students, so far the most 'filled-up' lecture i've been throughout my short time NP life. it's interesting to see all the other people the other half of ACC. i think i mentioned somewhere in some earlier post that going to school each day is like watching a fashion parade...or did i not? anyway, it's not all that great deciding what to wear to school each day really... it is much less mind-boggling to just wear uniforms. with that, i'm not suggesting that polytechnics should start having uniforms as well. haha. like what the hey, we've just been given guidelines on our attire!
japanese classes were, overwhelming, as usual...all the adjectives and stuff are driving me nuts. and there ARE tenses in japanese too!!! *pulls hair* cut us some slack. can people stop singing japanese anime songs during breaks?! you remember the clown in class i mentioned in my post last week? hell, that guy was singing at this female high-pitched voice! and his partner in class asked if his voice had already broken, and wondered aloud how in the world did he do what he did. 0_o
SPU prac in the morning, and celebrations in the afternoon with my cousins and family.
sunday will be a full day from 12+ to 6. i hope i don't make a fool of myself at Dr. Sharpley's. a busy weekend set aside for music. and horrors of horrors, 2 papers next week!!!!
i just felt like sneaking out of the LT after seeing the format for the BCA paper. ugh, i hope i'll pull through this one!
can't wait for X'mas. =)

posted by yz @ 10:42 PM 0 Comments

posted by yz @ 5:52 PM 0 Comments

HOW HOW HOW? CUT ME SOME SLACK WILL YA?!!!?!?!?!

THIS WILL BE A POST WITH HUGE FONTS CUZ IM JUST GOING NUTS. HELLO?! HOW WEIRD CAN THEY GET, PUSHING 2 PAPERS TO BEFORE THE STUDY BREAK?! AND PROJECTS TO RUSH.... ARGHZ!!!!
I HAVENT TOUCHED MY STICKS IN LIKE WEEKS. AND IF THERE'S A REHEARSAL THIS SAT, IM GONNA JUST FALL FLAT ON MY FACE!
AND SUNDAY... T.T
AND THE COMMON TESTS ARE BARELY A WEEK AWAY. SCREWED SCREWED SCREWED.
still cant find that date and time thingy...

posted by yz @ 6:45 PM 0 Comments

where is the date and time bar thingy?
...
anw, e concert that i went to yesterday, was, eh, not very good...
8 bucks leh... haha...
and i rushed down for piano cuz i left the house late. and there was not a bus in sight. for a while, i thought the bus stopped service or sth...
i ended up late half an hour late =x
at the bus-stop, i saw this aunty with very very red lipstick, she had thick maggi-mee hair and i think she had her glasses on or sth. i don't mean to be rude here, but seriously, she was a splitting image of a gremlin! you know what gremlins are? years back, there was this movie called The Gremlins or sth...yucky and slimy creatures.... haha...

ok. than today....
today...nth much happened. except that everyone was kinda freaked about the assessment.
ugh. don't wish to comment on it further. irritating.

-all i want for christmas is....( i haven't decided what)

posted by yz @ 6:45 PM 0 Comments

screwed my weekend. screwed everything this week.
why can't we have more than 24 hours a day?!

posted by yz @ 10:25 PM 0 Comments

just when i commented on 'transparency' last night....
what a coincidence...
anw, just a reminder, don't try anything on the net. anonymity is so not present in cyberspace.
somehow, somewhere, someone will be able to track you down...

today, saw mum after i crossed the road, and she gave me a lift to the bus-stop somewhere else. the lect summary was...not very well-done...
and i wasn't really paying attention at both lectures...
tired.
jap was quite funny. this class clown always liven up lessons. but i gotta hand it to him... on our way out of sch, he was singing this anime song in jap! he actually memorised the whole song. word for word. not that i would have noticed if he made any mistakes too. but ya. im not THAT into anime....
my interest in jap didn't stem from anime as well... i just wanted to learn another lang.
but things are just getting tougher....
weekend will be a busy one. proj to be done. meetings. and...newspaper collection's tmr!
long day~
alrights.. that's all for now. =)
10.06pm-

posted by yz @ 9:54 PM 0 Comments

will. can. must!!!!

it's creepy k?... how everything seems to be so transparent now. make a wrong move, and you're found out! haha~!
i went nuts doing BCA today.... how am i going to survive and pass this module!?!??!?!
i've finally got stuff in my mp3. and i just love avril's songs! helps destress... whee~~
next sunday got samba show, but don't think
i'm going cuz my schedule's kinda tight and stuff...
*shakes head in despair*
i haven't prac in weeks!!!!
how how how how how......................................................
will we be able to make it for the concert?!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
WE WILL. WE CAN. WE MUST!!!

posted by yz @ 9:44 PM 0 Comments