It's MY story, and it's nothing like yours.

When saying goodbye gets hard.

It was a good thing we went to visit Grandpa after shopping that day, cuz that was the last I saw of him.

We knew it was only a matter of hours - it was just too hard seeing him like that. The tears flowed more freely with each passing hour, and I was praying really hard he would hold out till my brother got back. Because I knew he wouldn't pass on peacefully before he got to see him; and I knew that my brother would have regrets thereafter.

Very much to my relief, he got back in time. Grandpa seemed to be much more at ease, and we headed back home cuz my uncle thinks he'd most likely be holding out till he sees my other uncle, who happened to be overseas.

Unfortunately, he didn't and about 1 hour into the next morning, he was gone.

I only learnt of it the next morning from my brother, went about with school before going to the wake.

Couldn't stop crying having breakfast and even in the bus on my way to school. Yet, I was surprisingly stoic at the wake. Not totally indifferent cuz it sucks big time to see a face so familiar behind that little window. I try not to stare too hard because I very much prefer how he looked like when he was better.

The photo's really well taken. In fact, it was taken last CNY, when he and grandma took part in this yuanxiao event where they renewed their marriage vows.

They had his mouth stitched up cuz I think it was wide agape when he breathed his last.

I wasn't there when they wanted to nail the coffin. And HE knew I was not there, cuz apparently they couldn't get any 'puay' when they prayed. Haiz. My father had some explaining to do, and they got the 'puay' they wanted and nailed. It was how my grandpa would have liked it - he always wanted everyone to be there, at every gathering, celebration....

2 more days, and it'll really be goodbye.

I just hope everyone pulls through it.

That, even if we won't ever see him again, he'll be remembered as the grandpa that loves his Carlsberg, offers to buy chicken wings whenever we visit, laughed when we asked if he still wanted his Carlsberg when he got sick, and insisted it was milo he puked when it really was blood.

Bye Grandpa.

posted by yz @ 10:09 AM